Common Karaoke Slips #1

People hand me these sign-up slips with their names and songs they want to sing on them, but from my eyes, this is all I usually see...

[slips by Ninja Don]

Product Endorsement #1

Reeses Puffs

A very versatile product: breakfast cereal, snack, or dessert confection. Mostly, I use it as a snack when I am craving peanut butter and/or chocolate. Reeses really hit it out of the park with this one - it has a perfect balance of choc and PB, just like a Cup. R&D people! And I'm not going to call it "healthy", but certainly a few handfuls of Reeses Puffs will do far less damage than a single Reeses Cup or a pack of Reeses Pieces. Add it to the list of things that sometimes make me wish I still smoked pot, along with the Pink Floyd album "Obscured By Clouds", Pineapple Express, and any episode of Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

Milky at the Movies

So, I saw "The Hangover" on the first Friday it was in the theaters a few weeks ago. Make no mistake: It is, without a doubt, the funniest movie in ten years - easily.

So I've been waiting for all the like-minded reviews to come in from my friends, but about 62% of them have been, "I didn't think it was that funny" or "It was so-so, it didn't live up to the hype".

Conclusion: 62% of my friends are idiots.

Songs I Ripped Off

Currently, the only four chords I know on guitar are as follows:

C - D - G - Em

In my minimal attempts to learn guitar over the years, these are the only chords that have stuck with me. They're easy to play, and they sound good together. You can mix those up pretty much any way and write a simple pop song.

Recently, I was perusing some guitar tabs online, even though I can't really play guitar (I look for easy stuff). I came across the tab for Coldplay's "Viva La Vida", their recent smash-hit that has been the subject of recent lawsuits by overrated guitarists (Joe Satriani) and a has-been looking for newfound credibility (Cat Stevens, aka Yusef Islam), as well as thousands of dumbass ditto-heads that cry "did you hear about how Coldplay ripped off so-and-so? It's so obvious..."

What's funny is that I don't even like Coldplay, yet I can't help but have to constantly come to their defense on this. If the song wasn't a smash hit, you wouldn't have heard anything about this - all Joe Satriani and Cat Stevens are looking for is a cut of the big money pie that is "Viva La Vida", without having to do anything except claim to have written a passing resemblence to the melody many years ago . There are only a finite amount of melodies and chord combinations that sound good together in pop music - such as C D G Em, which is the chord progression of "Viva La Vida" (with a capo on the first fret) - which are the only chords I know.

Where's my cut?

Only in dreams

Last night I dreamt I was an A-Wing pilot. A-Wings are nifty, but I definitely prefer the B-Wing or the Y-Wing. A video search on YouTube for things A-Wing related turned up a startling (scary) amount of Star Wars nerdery, so I'll just leave you with this classic bit of Star Wars in which the A-Wing is featured...

Drunk ppl r funney #2

Drunk British Dude I Thought Was Angry But Actually Just Likes Crappy Early 90s Dance Music (As Do I): 'allo mate... you played a song before, it had a clip of this other great song... you know, it's got that cheesy early 90s piano sound (oh how I love that sound -milky). Man, that was great. You got any more of that? I think they're called Black Box?


THEY SURE ARE. YOUR REQUEST IS UP NEXT, MATE!



Oh, more Black Box, please? YES

Drunk ppl r funney #1

Horny Business Dude Trying to Score with Much Younger Girl: DUDE! You gotta play that song for that girl. "Summer Loving". I don't even know her name. I think she just signed up. Actually, can you tell me her name? DUDE! WE'RE ALL GONNA SCORE IF YOU PLAY THAT SONG! YOU WANT TO GET LAID, DON'T YOU! WE'RE ALL GONNA GET LAID!!!!!!!! YEAH!

Later on, he slipped me $20 to play that chick's song next. I hope he scored.