Monday, March 16, 2009

Drunk ppl r funney #2

Drunk British Dude I Thought Was Angry But Actually Just Likes Crappy Early 90s Dance Music (As Do I): 'allo mate... you played a song before, it had a clip of this other great song... you know, it's got that cheesy early 90s piano sound (oh how I love that sound -milky). Man, that was great. You got any more of that? I think they're called Black Box?


Oh, more Black Box, please? YES

Drunk ppl r funney #1

Horny Business Dude Trying to Score with Much Younger Girl: DUDE! You gotta play that song for that girl. "Summer Loving". I don't even know her name. I think she just signed up. Actually, can you tell me her name? DUDE! WE'RE ALL GONNA SCORE IF YOU PLAY THAT SONG! YOU WANT TO GET LAID, DON'T YOU! WE'RE ALL GONNA GET LAID!!!!!!!! YEAH!

Later on, he slipped me $20 to play that chick's song next. I hope he scored.

Friday, March 6, 2009

Wait For It #1

The following exchange takes place at the end of EVERY karaoke night (right after the lights go up and I've announced that "THIS IS THE LAST SONG"):

Random drunken fool: "I'm just wondering when my song is going to be up?"
Me: "Sorry, this is the last song of the night."
RDF: "So, there's no way I can sing my song tonight?"
Me: "Sorry, this is the last song of the night."
RDF: "Can I go next?"
Me: "Sorry, this is the last song of the night."
RDF: "Can you squeeze in one last song?"
Me: "Sorry, this is the last song of the night."
RDF: "There's no way you can fit me in?"

At this point, I retrieve my axe and the individual is decapitated. Thanks for coming out tonight! See you next Thursday!

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

List of stupid things people have said whilst I DJ - #4

Date: Last Friday night
Location: Kings County, NY - my usual spot

A girl had requested to hear Wham's "Careless Whisper". Yes, it's a little corny, but it's still a great song, and since girls always get their request (see Milky Manchester's DJ Customer Relations Handbook, page 1: happy girls = happy bar), and it was during 80's hour (anytime after 1:00 AM), so naturally, request granted. Then this ODFFDDS walks up.

Overdressed Fuckface Douchebag Dick Sucker: Ummm... are you gonna play something new? This song is kind of lame.
Me: Yeah, I've played lots of "new" stuff tonight. This was by request.
Overdressed Fuckface Douchebag Dick Sucker: That doesn't mean you have to play it. Show some judgement.

Then he immediately turns and walks away - lucky for him, because for a split second, I honestly thought about popping him square in the nose. The smugness of his delivery was overwhelming. I shouldn't let people like this get to me, but I think the Lord would forgive my actions because that guy was seriously just looking to push the WRONG button. ARGH I'm getting mad just thinking about this &*$#@!$ a-hole again!