From the Archives, Volume III

Monday, April 10, 2006

Complaints Today I wrote two letters of complaint to corporate offices. Most likely, they will go unread by anyone of importance, but it's been some time since I've felt so wronged as a consumer. Today I ventured to the "A&W All American Food" franchise in Edison for some cheese curds and a root beer float. As a child, I have fond memories of stopping at an A&W stand in colorado on road trips to my grandparents house. I had yet to visit this particular A&W location, but it was with great anticipation that we ventured down Route 1 to partake in glorious root beer-related goodness. I left feeling more than a bit cheated, even violated. Several things infuriated me as a consumer: -They did not have any cheese curds. This item is currently featured prominently on their website, as well as with in-store signage. And if you've ever had cheese curds, you can imagine my disappointment. -They did not have the ability to make a root beer float. "The float machine is broken". This is a fucking root beer stand!!!! I mean, ice cream + root beer = hydrogen + 2 oxygen!! FUCK!!!!! -I asked for a chili cheese dog and got a double cheeseburger instead. -The root beer that was on tap at their soda fountain WAS FLAT!! THIS IS A GOD DAMN MOTHERFUCKING ROOT BEER STAND! FUCK FUCK!!!!!! (entertaining side note: on the dispenser for the diet A&W was a handwritten note that "taste before filling cup"... uhhhh...) -We waited a solid 15 minutes for "fast food"... -There was one guy making the food -The cashiers drug dealer walked in and handed him a sealed cigar which he inspected for several minutes instead of helping his cook -The bathroom smelled like death -There were no readily available napkins Did I mention that there were no root beer floats and the root beer was flat at a FUCKING ROOT BEER STAND? anyway, onto consumer complaint ..2 I, being a music video junkie, regularly tune into the MTV2 program "Subterranean" on sunday nights at midnight, being that it's the last vestage of cutting-edge music-related programming on the channel (or on television for that matter). Sunday at midnight was also the former time slot for the much-revered "120 Minutes" program on MTV, god rest it's soul. Recently, MTV2 has been running repeats of "Viva La Bam" for the 14556045000000th time in it's place, and pushing SUbterranean back to 3 AM, because apparently there is some stipulation that at least 50% of the programming on the channel has to involve Bam Margera (god im sick of that asshole). Are ratings on sunday night at midnight really that important? isn't it ok to have just one somewhat progressive music-related program air at a decent hour? why can't I relax on a sunday???! fucking corporate machine!