Of course, by "Journey", you mean, "Don't Stop Belivin'", Journey's #1 hit from November 1981. Rarely are other Journey songs performed, which is somewhat remarkable considering their abundant amount of hit songs and rock-radio staples. Which is why I present to you this list of PLAYED-OUT SHIT, and perhaps suggest a few alternatives that will win you freshness and credibility points, as well as the enthusiasm of a crowd who are currently numbing to these over-played classics.
Song: "Don't Stop Believin'"Artist: Journey
So much has been said and so much more could be said about this song, that it's a waste of time to talk about it here. There was a global energy for this song a few years ago, as Journey began a slight revival in popularity, and so much has happened since (references in Family Guy and The Sopranos, most famously) that the magic is gone. We need to put this baby to bed for a while, so that one day it can return in all it's arena-rock glory.
Suggested alternatives: Any Way You Want It, Lights, Open Arms, Faithfully
Song: "Sweet Caroline"Artist: Neil Diamond
From now on, it should be a law that you have to sing at least 4 other Neil Diamond songs before you can perform "Sweet Caroline". No other artist is so criminally underrepresented at karaoke nights than ol' Neil. The man has stacks of hit records, yet we are continually subjected to the constant refrains/obligations of answering "so good, so good, so good" that it's hard to get jacked up for it anymore. Special thanks to Angry Mark for keeping it real at the Harvest Moon karaoke nights.
Suggested alternatives: Cracklin' Rosie, I Am... I Said, Song Sung Blue, He Ain't Heavy - He's My Brother.
Song: Anything over 7 minutes long - including: "Paradise by the Dashboard Light" by Meat Loaf, "Piano Man" by Billy Joel, and "American Pie" by Don MacLean.Unless you are employed professionally as a performance artist (stage, screen, music, or otherwise), it is impossible to hold an audience's attention for more than about five minutes. Anything longer than that is purely self-indulgent, and you will bore everyone to tears.
Suggested alternatives: anything under five minutes in length.
Song: "Baby Got Back"Artist: Sir Mix-A-Lot
I've yet to see someone perform this in an entertaining fashion, save for the one time a middle-aged white man performed a surreal, Lou Reed-like version at a party several months back. And drunk white girls love getting hyphy to rap songs they know the words to, the problem is, even with the words on the screen in front of them, they flub the delivery through the majority of the song. And rap songs generally don't make for good three-person sing-alongs. I would strongly suggest that if you intend to karaoke a rap song, you practice at least several times a day for three to five months and perform it solo. Otherwise, you look more like an idiot than you already are.
Suggested alternatives: Practice your rapping at home.
Song: "Ice Ice Baby"Artist: Vanilla Ice
This song isn't funny in an ironic way, nor is it entertaining or fun to listen to. It's painfully stupid. When I watch you sing this with unrelenting enthusiasm along with your "bros" as you swill Coors Light from a plastic bottle, I just want to do the human race a favor, and beat you over the head with a mic stand until you die.
Suggested Alternatives: Death.
Song: "Livin' on a Prayer"Artist: Bon Jovi
Yes, we live in New Jersey, and I understand that celebrated pop/fluff metal rockers Bon Jovi also hail from this area (Sayreville reprazent), which is why you enjoy them doubly. Surely, they recorded songs other than this one. Why don't you try one sometime? No? That hurts your little brain? Oh. OK, I'm sorry..... "TOMMMY USED TO WORK ON THE DOOOOOOCKS..."
Suggested alternatives: Bad Medicine, Lay Your Hands on Me, You Give Love a Bad Name, Blaze of Glory, Runaway
Idea for this blog post partially jacked from:
http://www.holytaco.com/2008
6 comments:
i would like to append the following suggestion to your list of neil diamond songs:
"I'm a Believer"
By the way, I heard an interview with the Neil from a year ago, and one detail stood out:
He wrote "Sweet Caroline" in a motel room the night before a recording session, just so he wouldn't waste studio time. The song is an afterthought!
"Suggested Alternatives: Death."
A+
Oasis, admittedly a decent Brit import, should likewise NEVER be performed at open-to-the-public karaoke.
you give love a bad name? c'mon dude!
its so true, the under 5 min song. there is always some a**hole that wants to do paradise by the dashboard light!
Great post
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